hotch potch thoughts

The world we live in...

2010-04-06T19:28:00.006+05:30

I travel often. Not only does it help me get away but it also teaches me humility and reaffirms my faith that the world isn't such a bad place after all.

But today I came across a video that caused me to doubt my carefully built impression that though there is evil and sadness in the world around us, on the whole people are good and respectful of fellow human beings.

In 2007, two Reuters staffers were killed while covering the war in Iraq in Baghdad. Saeed Chmagh and Namir Noor-Eldeen were part of a group of innocent civilians that were indiscriminately shot at by a U.S. helicopter gunship. Noor Eldeen, 22, was considered to be one of the best war photojournalists Reuters had. Chmagh, 40, was his assistant and driver. He had the reputation of being safer than an armoured vehicle and had had repeatedly said he would gladly lay down his life to protect a colleague covering the war.

The video saddens and makes ones blood boil at the same time. The conversation among the soldiers in the background depict how easy it is for one human being to make a judgement call on whether or not to snuff out another life. They rationalise that the men were armed with AK-47s, when none were. Namir's camera was mistaken to be a grenade launcher.

Noor-Eldeen was killed in the first round of firing. Chamgh was injured on the side-walk and is clearly seen struggling to crawl off the pavement. When two civilians came to help him and load him into the vehicle to take him to safety, the helicopter again opens fire at them saying that the men in the vehicle were terrorists coming to collect the weapons left behind. Chamgh did not survive the second round of shooting. There were two small girls in the vehicle who were seriously injured.

Reuters asked for an investigation to conducted into the killing of it's two staff. They had also requested that all the material be disclosed under the Freedom of Information Act.

It makes me wonder how we got to this stage where I could use war as the cover and commit murder in broad daylight.

To watch the leaked video - www.collateralmurder.com

Light

2009-12-13T01:39:00.003+05:30

Light, my light, the world-filling light,
the eye-kissing light,
heart-sweetening light!

Ah, the light dances, my darling, at the center of my life;
the light strikes, my darling, the chords of my love;
the sky opens, the wind runs wild, laughter passes over the earth.

The butterflies spread their sails on the sea of light.
Lilies and jasmines surge up on the crest of the waves of light.

The light is shattered into gold on every cloud, my darling,
and it scatters gems in profusion.

Mirth spreads from leaf to leaf, my darling,
and gladness without measure.
The heaven's river has drowned its banks
and the flood of joy is abroad.

By Rabindranath Tagore
Gitanjali

'Sertain' to make you smile

2009-12-05T22:56:00.009+05:30

sniffffff......

..sun....

snooze........

snore.....

sleep tight sweetheart... :)

my weekend goes by...

2009-12-05T22:12:00.012+05:30

It isn't often that we appreciate some quiet time at home. we're always in a hurry to get to some place by a particular time, that we miss out on just putting our feet up and relaxing at home...

...loiter around the garden and use your good ol' point-and-shoot camera to capture a few pictures that would make you smile later...

...or generally catches your fancy...

...as night falls, maybe do nothing but listen to some good music...

...with a glass of cheap Indian wine...

...perhaps a good book until you dose off....

goodnight!

Chequered stairs and Brahmaputra nights

2009-11-16T02:13:00.002+05:30

While I loosen my hair and flop into my chair,
I grimace as I think of all I had to face today.

I open the fridge and see nothing edible in store
I turn on the TV; it is the same old bore
I don't necessarily feel lonely
But I don't feel happy either.

The gizmos I bought were fun for awhile
My brand new car stands parked – I still love her
I have friends, a job and everything I'd ever need
But I am low; I want to be a child.

I can feel my age at a ripe old twenty-five

So much to look forward to and yet I'd rather drive, in reverse gear
In the time machine I've often dreamt of when I do get some sleep
The times I had as a kid was for keeps.

That coconut tree in front of Koka's bungalow in Guwahati
The chequered stairs that led up to his home
His home that was filled with the laughter of all my cousins
His home from where I could see hills for miles around.

The little rainwater drain that ran right around the house
The croaking frogs that kept me awake all night
The huge dining room where we'd all sit and eat
I'd stealthily push rice onto my cousin's plate, I was quite a cheat.

I miss those hide and seek games that would always end up in a fight
Those sharing of ghosts stories and not being able to sleep all night
Copying dance moves from Chitrahaar on Doordarshan was the best
Playing carrom all afternoon, while the parents tried to rest.

Even better when there was a power failure
No show to watch other than the star-spangled sky

That spreads right across the Brahmaputra
We'd play Antakshari in the cool breeze of the veranda.

We didn't need much; just each other's company would suffice
Five minutes was all it took to burst out into peals of laughter
It was frightening how quickly the summer would pass
One day chasing butterflies and the next day back in class.

To be nostalgic is a very adult thing to do
To live in the past gives us a brief respite from the present
And then one day this present will be the past
And then you might look at it and want it back.

But then it'll be too late as you wasted it by being unhappy
So I get off my chair happy after my short time travel
I wash my face, play some music and make myself some tea
Maybe it's time to call my cousins, plan a trip back home with me.

Boo!

2009-11-16T01:06:00.006+05:30

I wish I had more free time to waste. When I am not looking at my monitor I see incredible things around me... such as this....

Here we go again!

2009-11-16T00:15:00.011+05:30

i am planning on kick-starting my humble little blog again. so i deleted a few painfully sappy ones, changed a few colours and settings and started browsing through my older posts. i happened to stumble upon one of my really old posts (listed below). it then struck me -- i haven't changed much! so it really shouldn't be too much of a challenge to just pick up from where i left off. three years ago i was as lost as i am today. three years ago i still had the terrible habit of wasting time online.

i wonder why i stopped writing. it is not that my work load increased or i started on some other project or hobby. with time one inevitably ends up jugging along a particular routine which mainly comprises of waking up, going to work, catching some sleep. living from one weekend to the next - which is a little sad but true in most of our lives. our priorities change and maybe we become lazier or with time it just gets more difficult for us to be creative and funny.

the last three years have been filled with experiences and people that i really ought to have written about.

oh well - here's hoping for some serious blogging business in the coming months! i'm back! (screamed the insignificant little amateur blogger standing in the middle of this expansive blogosphere)

(i can't believe spell-check in blogspot still marks words like 'blog', 'blogger' and 'blogosphere' as incorrect while ms word doesn't!)

A little drop of heaven

2007-01-07T18:46:00.003+05:30

Like a stream of sparkling sunshine
On a cold winter morning
You bring much needed warmth.

Like a breath of fresh air
Your soft little sigh
Clears up a cloudy mind.

Your tinkling laughter rings
Through every room of the house
It soothes the soul.

When I carry you in my arms
And you playfully tug at my hair
I can't help but fall in love.

In a little while the pitter-patter
Of your tiny little feet
Would ward off depressing stillness.

The twinkle in your eyes
Has such a magnificent sparkle
The diamonds in the sky are in awe.

You flay your little arms
And stomp your little feet
Like as if in constant celebration.

Even when you are being difficult;

One just can't stop smiling,
One just can't help getting drawn,
Into your sunny and content little world.

I wish I could be you sweetheart,
So intelligent, so sure
So happy, so pure
So giving, so understanding.

May the universe bless you with all that you need
May you blossom and grow and steam ahead in life
May this world never tarnish your shine

May God bless you, precious child of mine

.................

Bangalore gone by

2006-12-03T02:28:00.003+05:30

I know, this is insane. It is 2:30 A.M. and I am supposed to get up early tomorrow (today actually) 'cause there is sooooo much to do before I go on my three-week long leave!
But i came across this post which I knew a lot of people who have come to work in Bangalore can relate to. Most people from outside hate Bangalore due to the traffic, pollution, the lack of stuff to do. The pub city of India seems to have nothing but well...pubs!

Well I am not from Karnataka but I was born in Bangalore and I am very touchy about people badmouthing my city. I was so mad at this post that I left a little not-so-nice comment, which is pretty uncharacteristic of me. This is how it went...

" I AM HURT!
I was born and brought up in Bangalore and i HATE it when people who live in this city, live on it's resources, bad-mouth it. Yes it is polluted, has horrible traffic, a highly inflated real estate scene (so the rents are too high)BUT who made it like that? US!
The Bangalore I was born in was cool and clean, it had lovely tree lined avenues and friendly locals (who are still friendly but have gotten kinda invisible cause there are SO MANY people who have come from outside and taken their space - me included)
Don't bad mouth the city. It has a heart and soul like no other, and you wouldn't understand. Help make it better instead or well, you could leave. India has lots of other states, right?"

I know, I know, it was rather rude. I do understand that if you don't have your family here, it could get quite lonely. Yes we crib about Bangalore having umpteen number of malls, bustling with uncultured, sweaty, rough shoppers. But why have they come up in the first place? It is because of people like you and me. We are young, we possess one of the highest disposable incomes amongst the youth of India. We are the ones attracting huge multi-nationals, call centres, BPO, IT firms.

Do you think all this would've sprung up if Bangalore were still a Pensioner's Paradise?

It was just too fast a progression. Unplanned and messy. Under the guise of 'development' the soul of the city was killed. The ruthlessness and the rapidity of this change is mind boggling. The socio-economic make up of Bangalore has undergone such a dramatic change that most of you 'new-comers' will not even imagine the Bangalore we 'old timers' knew. So many beggars on the streets, with babies in their arms, they were definitely not there even ten years ago.

Victoria Hotel, Cash Pharmacy, Galaxy theatre, quaint old bungalows, a bustling music and arts scene, charming gulmohar tree lined avenues (one of which is now the ugly, over-crowded, perennially jammed Marathahalli bridge). The little sparrows and mynas that were all over the place are fast disappearing. Roads along which I used to walk to get to school are now impossible to cross - lest you get run over by a rash driver, ripping in one of those BPO cabs. Our narrow streets which were initially designed for a few Fiat Padminis and Ambassadors now have to bear the weight of a million glitzy, flashy cars which belong to the nouveau rich. You haven't a clue how Bangalore has changed.

It hurts so bad to see a lovely old structure being pulled down. For what? To give way to yet another cold steel-glass building or a messy apartment block which have outrageously over-priced, pigeon-hole houses. I am in my early twenties and I feel so helpless while the city so dear to me goes to the dogs. I can only imagine what the locals and citizens who have lived here for decades together feel about their lovely little garden city of India turn into a jungle of glass, metal, smoke and flying tempers.

I wish we could re-plan our city. I wish we could turn back time and see that Bangalore undergoes planned and sustainable development. I wish we could replace the kitchy-crude bollywood remixes throbbing in every pub and disc with the quintessential Bangalore jazz and rock music scene. I wish I could handpick and throw (preferably jail) people, who after spending Rs 6000 on fancy dinner, spit on the streets, litter Bangalore and swear and complain what a horrid city this is. I wish I could remove the beggars off the street and train them to maintain all the parks, gardens and lakes, Bangalore was once famous for.

Oh! Someone give me a demolition ball to clear this city of the ugly, tastelessly built so called 'apartments'. Wish I could raze the buildings and clear the meadow behind my house, for my kids to play in.

I think I ought to head to Koshy's for a plate of potato Smileys or to Coffee House. Perhaps a masala dosa at Ullas or a Sunday afternoon in Cubbon Park will get me out of the blues. I try so hard to hold on to the Bangalore I know.

I miss the squirrels :-(

Right now...

2006-11-30T18:13:00.000+05:30

1. It is 5:58 p.m in Bangalore on the 30th of Nov.
2. I am listening to 'Baby don't you break my heart slow'.
3. A mentally unstable colleague of mine is singing 'Where's the party tonight?' - my iPod in max volume fails to drown her cacophony.
4. I am amused at my other mentaaaal
friend who leaves a comment for every post i publish, like cute little paw prints to show that she had been here :)
5. I am feeling a little lost
6. Feel a little left out and apprehensive about where we are going- where we are going to be in six months time.
7. I am thinking of Tanvi :) and wondering how i will pack my stuff and get my papers straight, on time!

Something beautiful - I

2006-11-30T00:08:00.000+05:30

Look what was outside on our office balcony railing! Amidst all that pollution and the hustle-bustle of Airport Road here is this majestic looking bird (eagle/kite?) perched upon the railing, scanning it's terrain. Then it turned and looked into our office and I think my team is pretty interesting and Mr Eagle/Kite just sat there looking amused. Occasionally he would make these high pitched, eagle/kite sounds like as if he were passing comments. He even obliged when I wanted to take his snaps.

This balcony is permanently locked so had to 'shoot' him through the glass. Hope i can get a better shot of him someday.

The week gone by - Part II (Nov 20th-26th)

2006-11-26T00:18:00.000+05:30

Week of Nostalgia

1. Met old old OLLLD friends

2. Regained a part of myself i thought was lost

3. Spoke of gulmohar-tree-pod sticky 'pithu' balls and discarded guardhouses.

4. Visited Bristols on Friday. surge of memories

5. Got home at 2:15 a.m in the middle of the week AND got to work on time the next day (an achievement for me!)

6. Think it's high time to R.E.A.C.H out

7. Praying for a smooth Visa trip, think i have a document missing

8. Still mending a broken heart - almost done.

Part II in an on going series which will make little or no sense to you. It's mainly for my records.

The week gone by - Part I (Nov 13th - 19th)

2006-11-20T01:02:00.000+05:30

I didn't think I would:
1. Buy a new leather hand bag
2. Get my wisdom tooth yanked out
3. Miss THREE working days
4. Completely waste 5 FULL days
5. Close a chapter in my life so decisively and unexpectedly
6. Yearn so much to re open it, throughout the weekend :(
7. Feel such terrible post-wisdom-tooth-yanking-out pain
8. Feel that pain, to the par of a gazillion, emotionally

I heard a heart break last night - Jim Reeves

crumble

2006-11-18T21:04:00.000+05:30

The assembly line has come to a grinding halt.

Churned out a perfect start
A dreamy beginning
A climax for the middle
A subtlety of it all
A joyful union
A friendship that was unconditional
A love that was best left undefined
A fateful end... pre-destined

No regrets, maybe a few
But I have to give you your due.
I wish to grow up and learn to run
This piece of machinery better the next time.

I guess I'd better go through the manual
A little more throughly
These things are so badly written.
Nothing's clear.

But I guess I shouldn't have operated it with such haste.
Jumped the gun just to get a taste.
It worked beautifully and I depended on it too much
Alas, it gradually broke down due to a faulty link.

It was struggling to keep up with the myriad of feelings
It trundled for months, as we kept pushing it.
I had to pull the plug today as I feared I would crumble away.
I wish it had just blown up, reduced to mere smoke
Instead it ran on and on and on and choked.

I am sorry but I did consider you as well.
I hope you would see that eventually.

Bleeedy Naaansense Ie Saye!

2006-11-18T13:10:00.002+05:30

(not a regular tear-jerker, giving you guys a break)

A dear friend of mine,
Whose poetry is oh-so-fine,
Pointed out a fault in my writing.

I am trying so hard to rhyme,
I am unintentionally committing a crime.
Spelling and grammatical errors set aside,
My lack of prowess on the language I am trying to hide

In with a pathetic attempt to rhyme
I browse the net to see what I can find.
Ah here is one called Rhymezone.com.
I sit down to write some poetry with great aplomb.

I am just about to type the first few words of my great masterpiece.
When I feel all the thoughts in my mind suddenly cease.
All that pressure to write decent poetry for once in my life,
I didn't realize it would lead to so much strife.

In great despair, I feel my enthusiasm wane.
Having no poetic skills is such a bane!
Oh dear! Oh dear! I think I am going insane,
So many thoughts in my head, but in great disdain.
I let go of this project once and for all,
Before reaching the pinnacle there are so many pit falls.
Errr... I could drag on in my present state of mind.
But I will spare you mere mortals (i know you want to kick my behind)

I still wonder if Roald Dahl could be so famous
after writing Nonsensical Stories
Don't I also stand a chance?

Anyone wants my autograph in advance?

(Ok Than...NOW you can slap me...right cheek please... left side wisdom tooth pulled out)

[horn-ok-please]

My BowWowBabylove

2006-11-18T04:05:00.000+05:30

Oh dear Bounty, I think it is high time.
I tell you, you are precious and i'm so glad you are mine.

I am writing you some bad poetry and I hope you don't mind.
Finding a buddy like you was an intervention divine. :-P

I have held your paw and cried my heart out in the rain.
I have sat with you under a star-filled sky and told you all.
I rolled with you in the grass and let you gnaw at me sleeves.
I heard you howl everytime I would get ready to leave.

I hugged you tight when I felt low and thought I would collapse.
You were there as usual, patient and calm, two ears in flaps.
With a snout so pretty and eyes so bright.
It isn't a surprise that you always set things right.

You howl in different scales, when you were bathed with a hose.
When you haven't been hugged in awhile, you look so morose.
The way you prick your ears up when Dad's car arrives everyday.
The way you tilt your head when something perplexes in some way.

How could something so perfect be left on the road?
Dirty, dusty, hungry and almost mowed
Down by a rash driver who was in too much of a hurry.
It's been ten years since and it's all passed by in a flurry.

I'll never forget the little eyes that peered out of that cardboard box.
I will never forget fighting with you for MY socks.

I will remember the time you chased the car,
all the way to the bustling main road.
Dodging the speeding trucks we feared you won't make it far.
I panicked and was almost in tears.
Losing you is amongst my darkest fears.

Well all's well as of now , (touch wood),
You are here with us and I think I should.
Tell you again that I am truely in love.
With you my buddy, confidant, the one I am so proud of.

Dawns to me...

2006-11-18T03:17:00.001+05:30

I could feel another depressing post like Swirl coming up.
I could feel myself trying to type out thoughts that were pale and gloomy.

STOP! i told myself and wished I could kick myself in the butt.
I, me, myself was reponsible for getting stuck in the rutt.
Like a broken record i went on and on and on...
About loving and losing and hurting and brusin'.

BAH!

There is so much to be happy about and so much to look forward to
So many people who love me and so many people i look upto.
Grow UP Anooja and realize you are as lucky as can be.
The love you lost was lost but see what a friend is he.
No bitterness, no hatred and you just have to move on.

I still stand by Swirl
I still stand by how i felt and feel.
I am still hurt but i have definitely realized.
What's meant to be will be and what's not will not.
It's not a conspiracy, or a devious plot
To keep you away from the one you think you got,

It just another chapter in your life that you've finished,
Another one will start whether you like it or not.
The lessons and knowledge gained will hold you in good steed,
When a bigger challange appears, when you ought to lead.

Crying is easier but that's not what i am here to write about.
I am waiting for you, you will be here without a doubt.
I am in no hurry and the restlessness slowly dissolves into
a patient wait I am willing to gracefully waltz through.

They Burnt a Volvo bus! :(

2006-10-18T10:58:00.000+05:30

The Bangalore night sky from my office rooftop

What is Bangalore coming to?

We have strikes and we have protests.
We have now got mad mobs that throw stones on glass buildings.
We now have people who are defacing billboards which are in Hindi and English.
We have people sabotaging public property for reasons unknown to them.

I don't mind the traffic jams.
I don't mind the auto drivers that cheat.
I don't mind the packed buses with sometimes rude passengers.
I can even tolerate the 11:30 curfew time.

I plain LOVE Bangalore. There is almost nothing this city can do to make me hate it. Yes, perhaps the roads aren't too good, yes, the traffic is stifling and the once cool and pleasant weather has now given way to extremes.

But I still have an irrational love towards this place and it's people. I love the times when the whole BMTC bus bursts out laughing at something the driver said. I kick myself for not being able to understand the language fully. I love the way people are almost always easy to approach. I love the way, by nature, Bangaloreans aren't crude and crass and are infact a little shy. I still like the weather, when, once in awhile it reflects the past. I still love the dosas and the steaming sambaar. I love quaint old bungalows and the remaining tree lined avenues.

I love Taika and I love the road side dhabas.

So what's going on? Why is it that when a Volvo bus ran amok and killed 2 people (officially - lots of unofficial sources said 9 died in the mishap) the public, instead of helping the injured and seeing to that the busy arterial road was cleared for the ambulance and the fire engine, took to stoning the bus and burning it down. They burnt the bike who's rider was killed in the accident...what sense does that make!People just stood around and watched!

Is this some kind of circus?

Why is it when the super cine star, the pride of the Karnataka film industry, Dr Rajkumar passed away, the public went berserk and destroyed everything in it's path? The city came to a standstill? Was it genuine grief? I think not. A lot of people in the crowd were smiling and dancing in front of the tv cameras, while the late actor's funeral cortège passed by in the background. So many people beat up the police. One young police personnel died in the mob violence. Violence for what? The actor was old and died peacefully. He had lived his life and become an icon. Violence for WHAT?

what's happening to my dear ol' city... what's happening to the tiny Kaapi shops and the pensioners in Cubbon Park. What's happening to the slowly fading smiles that have given way to scowls trapped in traffic fumes.

What happened to my Bangalore?

Happy Days

2006-10-18T01:50:00.000+05:30

Looking down at my blog,

I feel like an old fog

All gloomy and gray

Hell bent on ruining your day.

Pardon my ramblings

And my bad poetry.

It's all just a phase which will soon blow away.

I will write of cookies and of brighter days

There will be happier entries

Though the bad poetry shall stay!

.....

...

.Yay!

*sigh! slap me someone!*

Swirl

2006-10-18T01:03:00.000+05:30

It's way past midnight and i am feeling stupid.

Stupid for falling in love and stupid for giving it my all
Stupid for feeling this way and stupid, writing 'bout my fall.

I was in bed all tucked up and hurt.
Was this what all my feelings were worth?
The sensible part of me knocked and said

'Yet again Anooja, this is what you dread,
you dread lonliness and you are over-reacting
But what I don't get is just one thing,
It's over and done with and you have to let it go
Then why does what's happening hassle you so?
Why do you cry and feel so small?
Why do you feel sick and shut out all?

Why do you write depressing poetry that no one will read?
Why don't you let go and just fall asleep?'

Oh Shut up Mr Sanity and stop questioning me,
Just leave me alone and let me be.

I feel small 'cause that pace at which 'one's moved on,
Makes me feel... feel worthless and torn.
I wonder whether it was my ego that was bruised,
Or did it pain 'cause i had genuinely loved, only to lose.

What a waste of time, energy and tears.
What a rotten way to give into your fears.

I hate feeling jealous and bitter,
Especially when no ones to blame.
I hate being so happy on the outside
And so empty at the core.

With no real emotions, only fake ones

Or momentary ones that felt right to express.

I love you - is what they say

Then how can they get over you in a day?

I feel deep and shallow at once
I try to think of the joys left behind
The happy imprints on my mind
And now they seem so... fake.

What makes it worse is that they do seem real
But only from my side.
Like a big lie.

As the clock ticks on.
I feel there's something terribly wrong
With this half-hearted attempt at poetry

The pain is real and the loss is crippling.
I know tomorrow I'll be out in the world, tittering
Like a silly little girl.
Entwined in a make-believe love-swirl.

Only you know that I continue to cry.
This swirl has left me high and dry.

wait!

2006-10-07T19:08:00.000+05:30

this is the best time of my life
and it frightens me
i fear the loss of it
i fear the highs of it

this love that envelopes me
will it soon be gone?
i hold onto it tight...

...real tight

i want to be free
i want to be out
i don't want to feel trapped
but this love makes me feel this way

it doesn't intend to, it just does

i need to move along
i need to walk away

for the fear of losing it
i can't afford to stagnate

i know one day it'll be gone
and i can't say 'wait!' and tag along
it is going to pass by
as that's what time does
moments live and moments die

just like us

Will you marry me?

2006-08-24T03:17:00.003+05:30

(This is a post I had written more than three years ago. It is a collection of lines and phrases I had heard from the women in my life and many of them are phrases that swim around in my own head at times, till date!)

i have a tattoo
i don't have mood swings but need time to myself often
i was easily hurt though i would never show it
at times when i am at complete ease with you i forget to act like a lady
i am a bathroom singer
someday i might break into a song for you in front of everyone
at times i like being treated like a child, hugged and cuddled and at other times i would like to play football with you in the slush
though now you are the centre of my universe, in the past i had loved someone and we are still friends
i need my compulsory morning hug and kiss on the forehead
i hate heavy metal
i hate break ups
i hate hypocrits and back stabbers
i like staying at home doing nothing
i like being out trekking
i am not a virgin
i love cooking but not all the time
i love interior design
i respect animals more than humans
i like collecting chocolate wrappers
i would never steal someone else's man
i like pillow fights
i would set you free if you wanted to go
i will not allow you to smoke inside the house
i love the simple joys of life
i can't stand men who don't respect women
i will get jealous when another woman hits on you, but at the same time will be flattered that my man is sought after ;)
i love you so i will try very hard to keep you but i will leave you in a jiffy if you called me any derogatory names
i ain't a major women's lib kinda girl but i do have an ego and i won't allow you to stomp all over it
i will keep you happy
i need to feel wanted - i promise to make you feel wanted
i need to know you are proud of being my man
i need you to hold my hand at times
i need you to say nothing at times
i need you to be my best friend
i need you to respect my freedom
i will try very hard not to give you reason to complain
i like being sung to
i like spontaneity in almost everything
i am a sucker for surprises
i cry when i see animals suffer
i am capable of lots of crying and capable of hiding my emotions as well
i LOVE the brat in you
i don't mind you crying
i get restless easily
i sometimes get paranoid
i can be very chilled at times - bordering on chronic laziness
i can be ultra demanding too
i WILL fight for the remote
i would like you to be a little adventurous
i love the rain
i need to hang out with 'my gals' at times
i need you to kind of get along with my girls
my family has to like you
i am a non-vegetarian
i might call you pet names like 'snoogy woogy' JUST to irritate you
i need you to have your opinion (but i get to choose the curtains)
i can't stand stinginess
i love children
i might talk too much when i am at ease
i need you to be level-headed when I am not
i do procrastinate
i do like to dream and imagine
i love to travel
i would like to be pampered but don't get to mushy...it irritates
i need music 24/7
i don't like frying fish and my chappatis are rarely round
i can't act too girly
i can slap men but i PROMISE never to slap you
i am determined and would like to make something out of myself
i need you to be focussed
i need you to kick my ass when i get lazy
i will never nag
i need you to listen

i love you and i do intend to spend the rest of my life with you.

so....

Will you marry me?

(picture courtesy Upasana Nath)

I got all ma sistahs with me!

2006-07-02T18:33:00.000+05:30

Contrary to popular belief, girls can actually be pretty tight and yet 'un-senti' and 'un-weepy' about their friendship with each other. Contrary to popular belief, girls can be very happy, non-bitchy, intellectual, quirky and philosophical when they have their pajama parties. Contrary to popular belief, girls more than often talk about things other than boys. That's why i LOVE the ladies in my life.

Ok... remove that ridiculous look of surprise from your face...i am straight. What i mean by I LOVE the girls in my life, is that each of them have taught me something that i will treasure and keep till the very end. I admire all of them for different things. I admire them for the uninhibited way they live their lives, the way in which they are so very determined and yet don't hesitate in admitting to their insecurities, the way they have the confidence in each other, that one shall not take advantage of their short comings.

Yes i do admit I am jealous. They are all so talented, beautiful and have so much to offer to the world. But more than jealous, i feel priviledged to have known these girls (and now women). They inspire me, comfort me. At one moment they can be my closest confidants who can give me their very wise and unbiased opinions and advice and at the very next they can be my silly, giggly, gossipy 'gurlfriends' gushing about the newest heart throb in town or revealing where one can get the best deals in the latest fashions. We might try to bake a cheese cake together

What's the best part of this all? We aren't very touchy about keeping and not keeping in touch. Time-space-distance constriants haven't weakened the bond we share. Meeting after six months, doesn't mean it'll be a coffee marked by formality and filled with awkward silence. It'll be more of a desparate attempt to fill one another in with everything that has happened in the past six months.

We are all different, very different infact. Some believe in sex after marriage only and some believe in tatoos, some believe in a 1000 pairs of shoes, while some believe in floaters for all occasions. Some believe in Formula 1 and the FIFA World Cup while some believe in Sex in the City or Desparate Housewives. Trendy, traditional, perpetually in love or terrified of committment... we are all so different. Yet no one judges the other. Yes, there are a few tiffs but the beauty of it is that it never permanently scars the relationship.

They all are aware of the other's insecurities and they all are aware of their own. They won't pry if they know you don't want to share, but they are always just a phone call or an email away if you do.

If anyone tries to screw around I am pretty sure you are more than capable to stand your ground and put them in their place but please do call the rest of us as back-up! we are ever ready to whoop anyones backside who tries to hurt you!

I think the most fun part would be defining my relationship with these girls in words. Here goes!

Cheesecakes, mp3s, diamonds, oshos, books, books and more books, movies, quiche, moroccan tea, attempts to cycle, first time getting a hair wax or an eye brow job, CAT-XAT..rats! Job interviews, Taika, heartache, booze and frooti, too much chocolate, sarees, first pay cheques, Bombay train rides, the World Social Forum, loud happy mallu accents sitting cross legged on the upper berth on the way to Bombay, quiet hushed tones trying to act lady-like at The Leela (and giving up withi 5 minutes!). Pheromone Chicks! Internet blogs and choirs, school fests and night spendings, transparent bra straps and seeing g-strings for the very first time. Failed relationships and 'full la la la lowe' moments. Kisses. Promising to get tatoos together by the end of 2007. Being not so happy about a not-so-flat tummy and doing nothing about it. Ice Lollies! Swim suits. Singing 'it sucks to be meeeeeee!!!'. Baddi and frisbee in the rain. Attempts to smoke and to push each other into the sea, Orkut. Acting leasbian at the disc to ward off creepy guys, Ruffles lays and chaat, Bacardi Breezers and Goa, Maruti 800 and getting wet in the rain. Watching Speed and Matrix 16 billion times just because someone's in love with Keanu Reeves...(growl). Perfumes and nice BTS bus conductors. Playing 'consequences' in class by secretly passing notes, having collective crushes. Being pure lazy and studying like crazy. Crying and getting all messy and ugly, sharing make-up and clothes and being the centre of attraction. Loving our parents and worrying about them. Talking about Greenpeace, interior design, hating people who copy in class, politics and back-stabbing at work, sex and tablets. Promises to exercise, learn to jive, play the guitar and drums. Income tax, bank accounts, cell phone bills, religious constraints. Smuggling Cosmos and exchanging National Geographic mags. Be crude and crass and loud to just let in out. Being aunts now and doting on our nieces. Surprising me on my 21st birthday and giving me a ride to college because 'You should not have to travel in a crowded bus on your birthday!':) Getting our hair coloured 'cause it was free. Figuring out econometrics and men.

I guess I am just pure lucky to have shared the same school/college/colony/office/common friends with you! I salute you women. You are all divas in your own speacial way. You will all make brilliant friends, wives, mothers and sisters. You will be 'kick-ass' in whatever you choose to do. Salute to you! You know who you are!